My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize