I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
