I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
