NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
