There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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