i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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