I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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