what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
