is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
