I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
