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• (708): View more from Illinois

  she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard

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• (813): View more from Florida

  His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.

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  25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.

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• (805): View more from California

  I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.

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• (650): View more from California

  she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"

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  23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?

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• (232): View more from

  You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..

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• (585): View more from New York

  I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?

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