I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door