So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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