Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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