So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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