dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
