if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
