My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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