3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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