that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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