hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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