My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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