you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
