Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
