if only i could text you this smell
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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