I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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