Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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