your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
