South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
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I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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