come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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