I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
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I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
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I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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