dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My ass is underappreciated
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
