she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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