Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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