how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
