Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
