omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You have to summon your inner elephant
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
