I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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