Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize