Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
