It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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