Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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