he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
