I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize