Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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