No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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