Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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