I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
