bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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