It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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