So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
