rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize