that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
