Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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