I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
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