I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
