This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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