someone owes me an orgasm
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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