discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
