yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
