So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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