It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
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I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
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Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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