No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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