we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
