I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
