nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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