Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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