maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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